Christian Servanthood: A Woman’s Call to Submission and Man’s Call to Sacrifice
In today’s culture, the word “subservient” often carries a negative connotation. Many associate it with weakness, blind obedience, or a lack of personal identity. However, in the light of Christian teaching, subservience—when rightly understood—is not about inferiority or domination but about the call to self-giving love and servanthood that both men and women are equally invited to embrace. At its core, it is an expression of charity—the highest of all virtues.
A Father’s Wisdom: Teaching True Servanthood
A wise father, deeply rooted in faith, sits his daughter down to explain what it truly means to serve.
“My daughter,” he begins, “some will tell you that being subservient means losing yourself to the will of another. But Christ teaches us otherwise. To serve is to love, to will the good of another, and to seek their highest good, just as Christ did for the Church. Submission is not about weakness but about strength—the kind of strength that lays down pride and embraces humility.”
He continues, “Just as women are called to serve in love, so too are men. A man who follows Christ does not dominate; he leads with sacrificial love. A husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, and that means he must be willing to lay down his life for her (Ephesians 5:25, NRSVCE). This love is the essence of charity—the self-giving, unconditional love that places the good of another above oneself.”
Men as Servants: A Call to Sacrificial Leadership
It is a grave misunderstanding to equate masculinity with tyranny or absolute control. Toxic masculinity, which claims that men must dominate women and that women must be inferior, directly contradicts the Christian principle of servant-leadership.
Christ Himself, the ultimate model of manhood, washed the feet of His disciples, an act of profound humility (John 13:12-17, NRSVCE). He did not demand submission through oppression but through love, sacrifice, and service. A true man leads not with an iron fist but with a heart full of love, willing to give himself entirely for the well-being of his wife and family.
As St. John Chrysostom said, “When we are willing to suffer for those whom we love, then we know that we truly love them.” A godly man is called to suffer and sacrifice for his wife and family, just as Christ did for the Church. This sacrifice is the ultimate demonstration of charity, where love is not self-seeking but self-giving.
Women as Servants: Strength in Submission
Likewise, a woman who understands her worth in Christ knows that her submission is not to a tyrant but to a man who cherishes and protects her. Biblical submission is not slavery; it is a response to love. When a wife submits to her husband in a godly manner, she mirrors the Church’s submission to Christ—not out of fear, but out of deep trust and love (Ephesians 5:22-24, NRSVCE).
The world may tell women that submission means weakness, but it actually requires great strength. It is an act of faith—faith that God’s design for marriage is built on mutual respect, love, and service. A woman who submits biblically does so not because she is less, but because she understands the power of humility and love. St. Teresa of Calcutta reminds us, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”
This act of love within marriage is also an expression of charity, as St. Thérèse of Lisieux taught: “A word or a smile is often enough to put fresh life in a despondent soul.” True service in marriage is found in the small, everyday acts of love that build a home filled with Christ’s presence.
The Marriage of Servanthood
Marriage, in its divine essence, is a covenant of mutual service. Both husband and wife are called to outdo one another in love (Romans 12:10, NRSVCE). When a man serves his wife and a woman serves her husband, they create a partnership that reflects the beauty of God’s love for His people.
Those who argue for male domination misunderstand both the nature of masculinity and the biblical model of marriage. A godly man does not demand submission but inspires it through his selflessness. A godly woman does not submit out of obligation but responds in love. Together, they exemplify Christ’s love, a love that is neither oppressive nor degrading but dignifying and liberating.
St. Francis de Sales said, “Love is the abridgment of all theology.” When love is at the center of marriage, true servanthood flourishes. Charity, the highest virtue, is what transforms a household into a sanctuary of peace, mutual respect, and holiness.
Conclusion: The Beauty of Servanthood
True servanthood is not about power but about love. A father teaches his daughter that to be subservient in the Christian sense is to be strong, to be courageous, and to trust in the beauty of God’s design. A man and woman, united in Christ, do not engage in a battle for dominance but join in a mission to out-serve one another in love.
This is the truth that sets us free: we were made not to rule over one another, but to love one another as Christ loves us. And that love, grounded in the principle of charity, is what brings lasting joy, unity, and fulfillment in marriage.